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Set aside those mushy, sentimental words of love. Valentine's Day is the perfect occasion to tease your lover with the naughty humor of these quotes. Funny words may bring a smile, but witty jabs add a spark to the relationship. This Valentine's Day, roll on the floor with laughter.
"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted."
"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him."
Miguel De Cervantes
"Absence: that common cure of love."
"Falling in love is so hard on the knees."
"If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I would have many pennies."
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
Laurence J. Peter
"It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week."
"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
"Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."
"Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch."
"Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
W. Somerset Maugham
"Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species."
"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
"Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock."
Reed Bennet, Valentine's Day
"Love is the only shocking act left on the planet."
"Love lasteth as long as the money endureth."
"Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail."
"Never sign a Valentine with your own name."
"No, this trick won't work. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."
Marie E. Eschenbach
"We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack."
"Women are made to be loved, not understood."
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."